Blink (and you’ll miss it)

I haven’t been able to stop blinking for the last three days and it is making my life into the most unnecessary strobe light extravaganza of partial sightedness. As soon as the eyes open, they close, and as… Read More

I Am Entirely Made Of Zinc

I am entirely made of zinc and you have brought me to the brink of insanity and disrepair and misery I am entirely metallic which implies I’m anencephalic but somehow I can still function physically you take me… Read More

The lake

I saw a bearded man walking down the street, violently banging his head back and forth, his screams muffled slightly by his terrrifying clenched teeth. He was aimed for the lake. I saw another man, bearded too, but… Read More

Identicrime

somebody has been impersonating me and riding on boats using a replica of my passport and drinking my milk. I first realised this when I went to make a cup of non-denominational hot drink and there was no… Read More