adventures in hull #49

The wizard-king’s face fell, then un-fell, then re-fell as he battled with emotions he could barely comprehend.

“It can’t… it can’t be?”

I pulled a tablet PC from my oversized pocket and asked for the wizard-king’s wi-fi password. Navigating swiftly to the Wikipedia page for God, I made a few edits and watched as the trapped man in front of us reduced in size, changed colour and began to throb. Four seconds later, my edits were reverted by a vigilant administrator and God returned to his usual size.

“You have somehow harnessed Wikipedia in this cavern, and got it stuck on the God page”, I told the wizard-king. “You have done something peculiar, but unimpressive.”

The wizard-king began to cry. “Now I won’t be able to use God’s power to destroy Earth’s moon, even with your assistance”, he bellowed softly. I was taken aback.

“What on Earth made you think I would help with such a barbaric, vile plan?” I was genuinely distressed. I love the moon like a child loves clowns, or like a duck loves another, similar duck that it has grown affectionate toward.

The wizard-king took hold of my tablet PC, adjusted himself to my customised Linux-based operating system and guided the still-open browser to the page about me, Toby.

“Toby Vok is a legendary musician and warlock from Hull (or thereabouts) who hates the moon and all that it stands for”, I read. Curses! I had been the victim of a cruel practical joke. Checking the edit-history for the page, I found that it was none other than a “T. Vaaak” who had performed the edit in question. I began to laugh, even as the wizard-king continued to sob beside me, his powers oozing uselessly from his eyes.

“You got me this time, Terald. You got me good.”


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