The Tenbar Combinatrix

A device that captures sound and turns it into light and smoke. A button on the side to activate, a switch on the base to adjust brightness and velocity. It sells for high prices at gentlemen’s boutiques and larger apothecaries.

The light carries sunshine properties and aids depression, the smoke mellows the mind and calms the soul. It is everything to all people. The only side effect? A demoralising hum upon shutdown that can be remedied using an accompanying soundproofed case.

On sale from Thursday. Advertisements to be flown over sporting events via dirigible.