Author Archives: Toby

The serving

I had made something. It wasn’t quite a cake, nor exactly a biscuit. More like an inversion of a cake. An uncake, perhaps, existing solely between realms. I served it with a void of tea along with a couple of molecules of antisugar arranged in a complex geometric shape that was neither platonic nor solid. […]

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Amemorable news purveyor “The Guardian” have published a list of 50 “underground albums” that “you” have “never heard of” LINK FOLLOWS A Guardian Poring over the list for old favourites I note that they have A) included several albums that “I” have heard of, and dismissed as one-dimensional or “phoney” B) failed to include any […]

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The transformer

The stone appeared in the middle of the town and anyone who touched it was transformed or at least improved in some way. Ted touched it by mistake and his eyes regrew and a few of his fins receded. A seagull landed on it and became a crow and a crow landed on it and […]

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The Hand

I showed them my new hand. It was much better than my old hand. This one could count up to six. It could also close itself into a fist both the usual way and the other way, which wasn’t much use I admitted to the crowd. But what use is use when you can do […]

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The Market

There was food everywhere but none of it was as good as mine. I went up to every stall and told them so and showed them my wares, which I held out in front of me on a plate that was also better than theirs. “Try it,” I said. “It is the new food.” They […]

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The Coin

He held his fist before me, tightly clenched. “I have in my hand the coin,” he said. “What kind of coin?” I asked. “The coin.” “What kind of coin?” I insisted. “I cannot show you the coin.” “You don’t even have a coin, do you?” I accused. “Nobody has a coin.” “I don’t have a […]

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The Unnaming Machine

I was tired of my name and desired a new start, which was fortunate, because the government had declared my name a weapon of war and impelled me to remove it. And so I had to enter the unnaming machine. The Unnaming Machine, to give it its full name, is a big ovoidal structure that […]

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The Herald

The Herald rode up on his horse and stopped by the garden gate. “I am,” he heralded, “The Herald.” “Hahaha terald,” I said. “No!” The Herald shouted. “The Herald.” “Herald Vaaaaaaaak,” I said. “No!” The Herald shouted. “The Herald.” The Herald rode off.

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Spiders Are Wonderful

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several conversements: conversement #10: unopened

Conversement #10 from: Toby to: Ted TED SORRY I HAVEN’T BEEN INTO MY EMAILS THE BOX WAS LOCKED — from: Ted to: Toby And yet, messages could still enter, and the capaciousness of the box was never breeched. This suggests that the box is formed from a substance permeable by thought but not matter, surrounds […]

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